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  • Dear diary, it's guys trouble time By Glory Ada
  • I have been having sex with just one guy for a year straight now.  It's not because he shows grave interest in me,  it's just because I can't bare to love anyone.  Truth is,  I don't have confidence no more,  I feel like I am no longer myself and this state is the worst to try to find love in.  I have tied myself to Emmanuel because I think it's best.  All these while,  I have kissed no one,  I have tried to not be in a compromising position with any guy at all even when I feel pushed to. 
    Last night made it bad for me,  I kissed Ebube.  I didn't mean to but,  I had to.  We had gone to the cinema to see the movie,  "girl trip" , it was cool,  not even close to the best of my outings but it felt good, I felt cold but I felt good. What didn't feel good was the way he kept looking everywhere like his woman could walk into us in the cinema and punch me right in face,  like "bitch get the fuck off"  and that got me on the edge,  scared!.
    When we left the cinema and drove around portharcourt,  I had scribbled on a paper asking to kiss him.  I am crazy,  very crazy! I guess only Emmanuel knows that,  maybe that is why I don't want to cut things off with him,  there's no way he would see me any differently,  I am crazy and I can be very crazy with him without having to think I would be judged.  Back to the scribbled note,  I asked to kiss Ebube,  well he was too bold for me,  I wasn't prepared for that kind of boldness but we kissed anyway,  on the road in a car,  in this fucking Nigeria.  What's that shit they say about a first time for everything,  okay,  this was my first road kiss. 
    Yesterday got me thinking about myself and Emmanuel,  about how much he doesn't deserve me and well things shouldn't just be about me right?  Well right now I'm thinking about how much I don't deserve his time too.  We are both good in our ways,  we deserve better than we can give each other,  we do  but I won't let go,  not yet.  Maybe I am selfish,  I know he doesn't "love" me and deep down,  I think I don't love him too but I am not going to let him go.  I am using him,  I have to admit I am.  It's wrong I know but I am using him,  to satisfy sexual desires at times when I feel the urge,  I admit I am selfish but truth is  I could date him,  I could marry him even.  Minus party life,  drinking and smoking,  Emmanuel is a great guy,  great super smart lawyer who won a case against an ex president ,  stupid agnostic humanist , great egocentric maniac who could care enough to make your sorrows go.  
    I have lost my confidence,  that's another issue,  yesterday made me realize it.  I have no confidence no more,  my confidence died that night.  The night I waited for Emmanuel outside his father's house and watched his younger brother's girlfriend walk out the house , she ordered an uber, she was fucking hot,  a BIG chick! Not me,  I can't even get things straight yet.  I am a university drop out,  I can't afford an uber,  yes I am pretty but I felt for the first time in a long time that I belonged below Emmanuel.  His younger brother was dating a slay queen and I felt I was worth him?  My confidence level dropped from 80 to -0. I became scared of everything,  I felt never worthy of anything like I felt not worthy of having Ebube take me out. 
    There is someone else,  Okechukwu, he is like the one who works out everything.  He talks sense into my head,  he makes me see the goddess in this broken me.  He makes me understand that friendship could be worth more than a fling and even a relationship.  He gets mad at me when I go paranoid over a mere guy and he teaches me to be a goddam bitch.  It's funny,  his father is some popular pastor but without religion,  he keeps mending me.  In all my stupid struggle,  I am glad I have Okechukwu,  someone I can rely on,  someone I can fall back on.  Someone I will not friend-zone. 
    You know,  I am bound to Emmanuel in a crazy kind of way,  I begin to feel funky after kissing Ebube but then I text Emmanuel asking him to tell me to do nothing stupid, he does and I seem to want to forget Ebube and go crazy on the thoughts of everything I have shared with Emmanuel .  But I lied again this morning,  I said I loved Emmanuel,  I know he feels it's all a big lie,  lawyers are liars and a liar knows a lie. 
    Oh,  Ebube is a lawyer too. You know,  I don't need all this guys trouble,  I don't.  I deserve to focus and return to school,  before resumption I would be idle so I want to go into sales of shoes,  something to make me travel.  Something to tie me down and leave little room for stupid thoughts of crazy people. 
    I would return home soon and Ebube would be just a dream,  Emmanuel would be an addiction I am trying to overcome and Okechukwu,  a temptation never to fall into.
    Amen! 

    Written by Duruem Gory Ada 
    Psalmadaobi@gmail.com

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