FORGIVENESS BY STACY M. AMEWOYI

 

Once lived a husband and wife in a small town called Ampekrom in Ghana. They were the happiest couple in the town. The wife was respectful to everyone in the town.

 Her husband too was a hardworking cocoa farmer. They had two handsome boys which they were loved by everyone in the town. The woman was a street hawker, a hardworking woman earning some income to support the husband. 

The wife did a lot of petty business just to support the family, apart from her street hawking she was into a livestock business. She sells; fowls, ducks, goats and pigs. The people in the village called her Maame Despite just because of her business focus like Osei Kwame Despite (the owner of multimedia). 

One day the husband came from farm, and her lovely wife prepared him very delicious food. The wife prepared him chicken light soup with fufu, the husband was surprised that day because his wife never prepared him that kind of food since they got married. 

The husband asked, “did you really prepared me this food? Also, why did you kill your precious livestock (that’s chicken) and used it for food. Chicken can lay eggs so you can sell some of the eggs and moreover you can have more chicken in the house.” The wife politely replied, “Honey, in this world no one will sell his or her precious thing in vain.” The husband spooked his head and enjoyed the food. When the husband finished eating, the wife went and kowtow before him, crossed her palms and began to beg for forgiveness. 

The husband asked her why all the suddenly you came to apologize…what have you done? Tears started flowing from the wife eyes still on her knee, she sadly told the husband that, “I did a great sin against you and God! Please forgive and I’m so sorry of what I did.

 I once cheated on you, when you travelled sometime ago. Since then, I haven’t been with myself it is hunting me so today that I have to let it out. Please forgive me!” This was a sad moment in the family, the husband said nothing and walked out. 

The wife ashamedly got up and cleared the table. The next day, the husband asked the wife they should go and visit the parents (his in-laws). They took some foodstuffs with them and went to the next village called Dominase (where the wife’s parents) lives. They got there happily and had a long talk. All this while, the wife wasn’t with herself, she was stressed out. 

Her mom noticed her mood and asked her if she is okay. She couldn’t answered the mom so the mom curiously asked the husband if there is any problem with her daughter. The husband told the in-law to asked her daughter she is grown enough to revealed what she did. 

To prevent any doubt and protect her shame she told her parents that, she cheated on her husband sometime ago. After hearing this confession, the whole family present at that moment became cold. Sadly, the husband told his in-laws he can’t continue with the marriage, he is divorcing their daughter. The husband left angrily and didn’t even say a word.

 The wife became more stressed out and decided to end her life. One hot afternoon, she took poison and died. Her death became a breaking News in the town and the surrounding towns. Whenever the kids go to school, their friends bullies them calling them names…. sometime ago, one kid called them ashawo kids.

 To extend telling them, your ashawo mother drunk poison and killed herself. The bullies and name calling continued until the these innocent kids dropped out from school. They became street kids roaming around begging for food. 

One day, these kids went to someone backyard and plucked the person oranges. The owner of the backyard cursed with his tin god and some few days later, the kids died. Their father hearing this news became helpless and regretted divorcing their late mother. He became a drunkard and one day he also ended his life. She fell in the gutter and broke her neck.

Forgive and forget is very important in our marriages, if the husband would have forgiven his wife, the whole family would have been living. Anytime, your partner confessed his or her wrong doing before you, don’t over react, accept her forgiveness and keep it to yourself. Don’t let her family knows anything about she tells you. 

The husband should have kept it by himself but going ahead telling his wife parents caused the death of the entire family. Forgive it!

Only with forgiveness will you be able to survive after this hard blow like the woman in the story confession, there is no other method, even if you leave with 10,000 men per spite, the only thing you will achieve is to degrade yourself and make the problem bigger. 

I know it is easy to say and very difficult to apply, but it is a challenge that you must take, if you want her to be happy, and restore your marriage. I am not telling you to seek justification to try to forgive her, accept what happened and forgive her in your heart, everything has a solution in this life, and then I will give you some tips with which you can forgive your wife or husband an infidelity: Accept that you cannot change the past: Whatever you do not. 

You must forgive to cleanse your heart. You can change the past, nobody can go back in time and avoid situations that hurt us, I am sure that many of us would like to do it to fix what we did wrong and avoid the pain, but it is impossible!

The first step to forgive your wife or husband an infidelity is to be aware that it has already happened and it is something that you must accept but what happened! Once you are aware of what happened you must FORGIVE. But someone would say my husband or wife cheated on me! I know. And it is a very difficult situation but think about what it means to forgive.

 If it were easy, everyone would do it and there wouldn't be so many divorces in the world. You have to give a part of yourself to forgive someone else. Moreover, you have to give up a part of yourself to achieve it. And it is just this part that hurts so much and hurts you.

 We all have pride, and when an infidelity occurs and we are affected, it is immediately activated and our mind imagines things like, going with another man just for revenge on what your husband did to you. 

If you do not forgive you will live the rest of your life, with a grudge in your heart, an unnecessary burden that you do not have to carry, a weight that will not allow you to be happy, that will always make you cry, that will always remind you that one day You were marked by the pain of an infidelity. 

This is a matter of life or death, if you do not want to end up discharging all that resentment to your children, and become a bitter life, you must forgive from the heart. If what you want is to recover your marriage you must do it, remember that love can do everything, do not let yourself be won by pride, you have control at all times. 

Always remember that love can do everything, and true forgiveness requires courage and strength.

 It is a very difficult task that only women who trust and cast out all their grudges manage to do so. Do not let this steal your Happiness, you deserve to be happy, but you need to pay a price to enjoy it. 

Forgive your or husband so I have not asked for it, only in that way can your heart be calm and you will have serenity in these difficult times of your life.  Watch out for my new books  novel's the price of love and the  Languages and keys of love.