At work, there’s always that colleague who sets the bar impossibly high when it comes to relationships. One lady at my firm has become known for her standard response when rejected by suitors: “I’m sorry, you’re not my type.”
She’s beautiful, financially independent, drives her own car, and clearly doing well for herself. Naturally, she sought a partner who “has it all” — someone she could look up to and admire. I once asked her, “Why are your standards this high?”
Her response was frank: “I want a man who has it all, and Zoey, don’t talk me out of it. I know you.” She rolled her eyes for emphasis, and I decided to zip my mouth.
Fast forward a few months. Working from home limited my office visits to only a few crucial meetings. Then she called me. We exchanged pleasantries and caught up on work developments. Eventually, I asked if she had found “the one.”
She revealed she was seeing a guy, but things were complicated. When I asked why, she explained: “This guy is my type for real, but I feel he doesn’t want any commitment with me, and I don’t understand why.”
I pressed further: “Has the relationship been consummated?”
Her answer: “Yes, like four times.”
I couldn’t help but shake my head. “When I tried to advise you before, you didn’t listen. You can’t always be your type’s type. That’s why he’s having sex with you with zero commitment… and you’re still counting mileage.”
I reminded her: “It’s not about money or comfort. It’s about your expectations. Chasing someone for what they’ve already achieved reduces you to being part of a cycle you don’t want. You are better than this. Let him go. Lower your standards a little and focus on someone serious, someone building a future you can grow with. That way, your contribution matters. Right now, all he sees is a woman with access to his comforts, not a partner.”
Her response? Sharp and unapologetic: “Zoey, just because you’re married doesn’t mean you can advise me. Are you calling me a…? Besides, I cannot use my hard-earned money to build a man. Build a man for what? Abeg abeg abeg!”
I swallowed my words and let it go. But today, she called again, frustrated. The same guy, the same issues, cheating, complications. This time, I put my phone on speaker, left it on the couch, and walked away to join my chef in the kitchen.
Sometimes, experience teaches us the hardest lessons. Once bitten, twice shy.
The takeaway? Being “your type” isn’t always enough. Real growth in relationships comes from shared vision, respect, and commitment — not just chasing someone’s accomplishments.
📖 Thanks for reading this far. Let it be a gentle reminder: choose wisely, and don’t let “type” define your happiness.
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